Weekly Humour, Issue 4
- I'll tell you how they discovered the White House was bugged. On a staffer's birthday her boyfriend called up to congratulate her and when he started singing (SING) 'Happy Birthday to you..." in the background they heard someone join in.
- They’ve GOT to pass the tax reform bill. Why? Last year the IRS took the shirt off my back. This year they billed me for laundry services!
- The government needs to crack down on businessmen who abuse tax write-offs. Like the one who listed two Gucci suits under "Foreign Aid."
- There is one basic difference between March and April. In March you have St Patrick's Day when a lot of green appears. In April, you have the 15th -- when a lot of green disappears.
- Yesterday I got a notice from the IRS. I know it was from the IRS. The stamp had a picture of a guy squeezing blood from a rock. (or a turnip)
- Lincoln once said, "You can't fool all of the people, all of the time." Lincoln had never met a legacy media (or CNN) reporter.
- A politician is one who knows how to say the right thing, at the right time.(PAUSE ONE TWO THREE) with the right press coverage.
- Remember how Obama's foreign policy worked? "Accept our terms or accept our drone bombings."
- Got a great concept for a horror movie. The Postmonster. About a civil service worker who terrorizes the government by being efficient.
- How many people believe Frisbee is a game started by postal workers with packages marked "Fragile"?