Weekly Humour, Issue 4

  1. I'll tell you how they discovered the White House was bugged. On a staffer's birthday her boyfriend called up to congratulate her and when he started singing (SING) 'Happy Birthday to you..." in the background they heard someone join in.
  2. They’ve GOT to pass the tax reform bill. Why? Last year the IRS took the shirt off my back. This year they billed me for laundry services!
  3. The government needs to crack down on businessmen who abuse tax write-offs. Like the one who listed two Gucci suits under "Foreign Aid."
  4. There is one basic difference between March and April. In March you have St Patrick's Day when a lot of green appears. In April, you have the 15th -- when a lot of green disappears.
  5. Yesterday I got a notice from the IRS. I know it was from the IRS. The stamp had a picture of a guy squeezing blood from a rock. (or a turnip)
  6. Lincoln once said, "You can't fool all of the people, all of the time." Lincoln had never met a legacy media (or CNN) reporter.
  7. A politician is one who knows how to say the right thing, at the right time.(PAUSE ONE TWO THREE) with the right press coverage.
  8. Remember how Obama's foreign policy worked? "Accept our terms or accept our drone bombings."
  9. Got a great concept for a horror movie. The Postmonster. About a civil service worker who terrorizes the government by being efficient.
  10. How many people believe Frisbee is a game started by postal workers with packages marked "Fragile"?

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