Weekly Humour; Issue 1

  1. They live in a tall high-rise. Very tall. The fire escape is a parachute.
  2. This building was tall. For kicks, some people got drunk and were dropping water balloons on 747 passengers.
  3. I asked a contractor for some suggestions on how to improve the look of my home. He gave me just one - the phone number of an arsonist.
  4. I'll tell you how hard it is to find greenery in the city. Apartments with flower boxes are being advertised as having a park view.
  5. Show me a voice crying in the wilderness, and I'll show you someone who bought a home in Los Alamos, New Mexico.
  6. It's a little annoying to pay $120,000 for a house and the first day you move in you see a termite scuttling in carrying a salt and pepper shaker.
  7. You ought to read my lease. The only thing I'm not responsible for is world peace and that's only because I'm not allowed any guests.
  8. My roommate always does the dishes the same way. Leaves them piled neatly beside the sink - for me to do.
  9. Let me describe our kitchen this way. Last week the cockroaches kidnaped our dog and held it until they were provided with better garbage.
  10. I just never have the time to do my housework, and it shows. The only way to get to my kitchen is by dune-buggy!

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