Weekly Humour, Issue 2

  1. It's easy to understand Nancy Pelosi's political style when you realize she went to the New York Cab Driver's School of Diplomacy.
  2. I guess you heard about the impressionist who gave up mimicking Nancy Pelosi. Kept absent-mindedly thinking.
  3. New York is the only city where, if you look up to see the sky, you find it's grey and overcast with windows.
  4. They’re starting to sour on New York Mayor Bill de Blasio. One New Yorker interviewed on camera said, "We knew St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. We didn't know he drove them to New York."
  5. They say the average life expectancy of a New Yorker is 82, which sounds impressive until you realize that's months.
  6. Well, in the subway series you can really see the New York style of baseball. Whenever someone steals second, they mug the second baseman too.
  7. NEWS FLASH! Dateline New York... An ABC spokesman announced today that Bernie Sanders suffered a hernia attempting to close his mouth.
  8. Hillary Clinton is moving more to the center. She's seeking the support of MIDDLE America. She wants the potbelly vote.
  9. Clinton claims she's finally got her act together. Someone should tell her - her act is bombing in Peoria.
  10. Hillary Clinton has been told by her handlers she has to really put her nose to the grindstone - well, what's left of her nose.

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